Music to Grit Your Teeth To

One thing I’ve discovered over the years is that people are really, really passionate about songs they hate.  They are, perhaps, even more passionate than about songs they love.  Over on Facebook, I posted, “Name a Christmas song you wish you would never hear again.”  I must say, I had some unexpected responses.

It should come as no surprise that the number one hated song was “Christmas Shoes.”  Since most of my friends are a lot wittier than I am, let me share their comments:

“That awful Christmas Shoes song. It makes me want to slit my wrists.”

“Please, please, PLEASE! Can we get rid of sappy Christmas Shoes!? We get it. It’s Christmas, and it’s sad.”

“The Christmas Shoes song needs to go. I’ll tell you—I work with the dying every day. Their kids are not out there buying shoes.”

“Another vote for Christmas Shoes. I change the station every time it comes on.”

“Christmas Shoes” tops my list as well.  It has all my personal criteria for a horrible song.  It’s too long, the tune is terrible, it features an urban legend as the plot, and it tries to suck you in by being sappy and sentimental.  It’s the musical version of fingernails on a blackboard.  When I hear it, I want to scream and smash things.

Other contenders for worst Christmas song:

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (second most hated; I agree.  Creepy, and why is the kid excited her mother is kissing someone that supposedly isn’t her dad?)

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (this one took third place)

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time

Baby It’s Cold Outside (two votes and a comparison to date rape)

Marshmallow World

Happy Holidays (For some reason, this conjures images of women in snowflake costumes.  Was that in a movie?)

Winter Wonderland

Jingle Bells

-Anything involving snow

Snoopy vs. the Red Baron (I had to look this one up.  Yes, it’s bad.)

-Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song (Okay, not a Christmas song exactly, but it gets a lot of radio time at this season.)

-Last year, a friend posted that he really, really hates Santa, Baby (Yep, nothing says Merry Christmas like rampant materialism.)

Besides “Christmas Shoes,” I’m throwing in votes for “I’m Getting Nuttin’ for Christmas” (any and all versions, but especially the original), “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” (Really, kid?  That’s all?), and those stupid barking dogs singing “Jingle Bells.”

Someday, perhaps someone will make a CD of all the songs people hate.  I’ll bet it will be a big seller, just for the novelty.  Feel free to chime in with your own bad Christmas song list.

Up next: The other side of Christmas music, the very best songs.


4 thoughts on “Music to Grit Your Teeth To

  1. The Annoying Music Show did a Christmas ad once. My friend was laughing rolling on the floor in pain as the announcer was deadpanning his show and every so often Greg Brady’s voice would crecendo through with “Do you hear what I hear?”.

    • Hahaha! Funny, Greg Brady (well, Barry Williams) is featured on the Wiggles “Santa’s Rockin” CD. For a couple of years, that’s almost all the Christmas music we listened to. What is it about that guy and bad Christmas songs??

  2. I actually like “Wonderful Christmastime,” even though “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” is technically the better post-Beatles Christmas song. But both are 100x better than Ringo’s horrible attempt at Christmas psychedelia known as “Peace Be With You!”

    • To each his own, right? It’s not my favorite, but I don’t hate it the way some people do.

      I’m embarrassed to admit that I kind of like “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” Although I see no need to hear it played all the time.

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