For those who don’t want to be bothered reading and then coming back here, let me sum up: It’s an article at The Good Men Project (*shudder*) all about how awesome small boobs are. (The kind on women’s bodies, not the idiot kind.) At first, this sounds right on—a man who doesn’t think my body is only good if it meets some Hollywood standard? Hell, yeah! That is, until one takes a closer look. Then all the Creepy Stalker goodness comes out.
- Maybe we’re the ones quietly taking you in from five tables away. Listening to your voice. Your perspective. Your sense of humor. The witty way you referenced an F. Scott Fitzgerald line in the middle of ordering your drink. And yes, don’t worry, we snuck a good, long look at your body.
- Maybe there’s something fearless and yet vulnerable about your petite frame that draws us.
- But there’s something about you A-girls that I just can’t shake.
- Whatever it is, I, for one, am under your spell. I swoon when you walk into the room. I want your first dance, your next kiss, your every smile.
- You have more admirers than you know.
So now small-breasted women everywhere can worry that some dude is following her every move at Starbucks while she orders her morning latte. Fabulous.
I get it. The author of this piece wasn’t really going for that angle (although he appears to have succeeded spectacularly). He was going for the idea that women shouldn’t feel ashamed of our bodies, right? Right? Call that one a fail. Instead of helping women feel good about our bodies, he’s just implied that a)big boobs = frat bait; b)want a PhD? Too bad your tits are too big, you ignorant slut; and c)you know those small knockers you’ve got there? Your smarts are just compensation for what Mama Nature forgot to dole out.
Check out what Mr. Small-Breasts-Fetish says about it:
- We’re not the ones throwing themselves at you at the frat party. Or your friend’s wedding, countless drinks in.
- Maybe we’re actually turned off by someone who’s used to transfixing men with her obvious, womanly attributes.
- Some of us have learned from experience that small-breasted women often have larger minds. Or better moves on the dance floor. Or more optimistic attitudes when the chips are down. Because you’ve been overlooked by luck before.
- This is for the lesser-endowed ladies of the world: the women who were dealt too lightly by Nature…
In (very reluctant) fairness, he does say that some of his “friends” who are well-endowed are smart and interesting. But that’s after he’s dug his hole, and right before he returns to Creepy Stalker mode. So I’m not sure that this off-hand comment can be taken seriously.
See, here’s the thing. The problem isn’t just about whether men like big breasts or small ones, or big butts or skinny ones, or whatever. It’s about that fact that this person doesn’t seem to understand much at all about women. We don’t need to be reassured by him that our bodies are acceptable. We don’t need a self-righteous man with a preference for A-cups to Change the World with his praise.
We women have changeable bodies. Puberty, pregnancy, menopause. Our shape may or may not remain the same over a lifetime. What we need is not for someone outside ourselves to deem us Worthy. We need to believe it ourselves. We need to embrace our curves, our sleek lines, our muscles, our fat. We need to love every inch of our own bodies and have confidence that this is exactly the body we were meant to live in. Real men, the men who love and know us, understand this. Real men embrace their wives even when pregnancy leaves us looking different than on our wedding day. Real men still tell us we light their fires even after we’re no longer capable of giving them babies. Real men, even if they’re attracted to us because of appearance at first, take the time to discover who we are.
Forget Hollywood, forget Good Men. Women, let’s reclaim our bodies and honor ourselves and each other.