I’m thrilled to be starting 2013 with the very first guest post ever on this blog. Many thanks to Andrea for her contribution.
A Year for a New Feeling
My emotions often show up on my face before they show up in my head. I have people ask me, “Are you okay?” A questioning looks crosses my face and I say, “Yeah.” Sometimes I throw in, “I’m just tired.” That’s to make them think I’m less crazy not because I really am that tired. After they have asked the question, I pause to think about why they asked that. Sometimes it comes to me right away and I realize what I am feeling. Sometimes it just doesn’t come to me and I have no clue what ‘that look’ on my face meant. I have somehow shut the door from my emotions to my brain. For some of you that might sound like a great thing and maybe it would be. Maybe if you pushed that door shut a little bit life would go better. Maybe it wouldn’t. For me, it isn’t working anymore.
You see this year I felt a very clear call from God to write a memoir about the way people have influenced my walk with Him. I finally realized this year that I have been holding on to and not dealing with a whole lot of hurts. Holding on to them has served to ingrain them deeper into my psyche, my dealings with other people, and my habits. I also realized that I am not alone. There are others that are going through this struggle silently. They, like me, think they are alone or that they have dealt with it or that it isn’t that bad. And all of those thoughts are wrong.
So if I need to write this memoir to help other people dealing with this that I am dealing with, then I need to know what I am feeling and why. I need to know what I have felt and delve into those past events and past feelings. So this year I am committing to journal 3 times a week. I am going to be writing down what I am thinking and searching for what I am feeling. I want to embrace those things and open that door back up. So I am looking forward to 2013 as I rediscover my emotions.
What are you looking forward to in 2013?
Andrea is a working family woman who writes about faith and relationships. She takes seriously the call on her life to encourage others. You can read more about her on her blog, Jesus, You, and Me.