When words fail

Today, I don’t know what to write.  That happens sometimes; it might be the weather or lack of sleep or run-of-the-mill blog burnout.  This morning, it’s none of those things.  It’s there-is-so-much-wrong-I-don’t-know-where-to-start-itis.

I’ve been catching up on all the blog posts and articles I missed last week while I was on vacation.  I suppose I expected that while I was getting some much-needed extra rest and playtime with my kids, the world might have gone on holiday too.  Of course, that didn’t happen, so I came back to several posts and news items that made me angry and sad and just plain tired.

So now I don’t know what to write about.  Do I choose the fellow blogger who had someone make vile comments about how his “kind of love” (as though the love between spouses is so vastly different based on orientation) is “unnatural” and “destructive”?  Or do I go with the woman who labeled her grandmother’s suicide as “not getting her way” and set the cause of faith and feminism back about sixty years with her unhealthy view of marriage?  Maybe I should add my own two cents about that dreadful Brad Paisley/LL Cool J song.  Or perhaps I should comment on the objectification of bodies and the way we ridicule adorable twelve-year-olds for being round-faced and toothy, then celebrate them for growing up “hot.”

It all makes me ache inside.  It makes me cry that we cannot see other people as human.  It upsets me that my children are growing up in this world, and unless I do my job as a parent, they could be on the giving end of this kind of ignorance.  It makes me angry that they will more than likely be on the receiving end of it at some point.  And it makes me feel a confusion of grief and rage that makes it impossible to decide where to go first.

So I’m not going to.  There will be other days for taking these things on.  There are weeks and months and years in which to fight oppressive systems.  Today, though, I’m going to sip my tea and listen to the rain on the roof.  I’m going to proofread a chapter of a favorite author’s latest book.  I’m going to homeschool my daughter and possibly take a trip to the library to surround ourselves with tales of the weird and wonderful.

And while I do all that, I’m going to remind myself of two of my greatest blessings.  I’m going to think about the way they climbed into my lap–even at seven and nine–because yesterday’s thunderstorm was so strong it shook the house.  I’m going to hold in my heart the lovely drawing my daughter made of the Firebird to give to my orchestra as a thank you gift.  I’m going to treasure my son’s surprise solo at his jazz band concert last night, the one he dutifully hid from us for the last several weeks.

Today, take care of yourselves.  Do what you need to do in order to have at least a moment’s peace.  Or do what you need to do in order to keep fighting.  Whatever it is you need today, I hope you find it.  Peace and blessings to you, dear ones.

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