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Finding Inspiration and Balance

So…um.  Yeah.  I’m not feeling inspired yet.

Which, actually, might be a good thing.  I spend a lot of time with random stuff floating around in my head.  The flotsam usually consists of story ideas, parts of stuff I’m working on, things that really piss me off, articles I’ve read, and blog topics.  There are days when I can hardly sort everything out, and days when I feel like I could write pages and pages.  Today, I feel a little tapped.

I think I can be forgiven, this once.  It’s been a long, weird week, and it’s not over yet.  I’m thankful for great friends hanging in there with me.  Not that I don’t love the cyberverse, but it’s nice to know that I can count on real, live humans when I need to.

Anyway, it’s not that I feel particularly down.  Just tired, drained, and in need of a rest beyond my eight hours.  I think that may be a good thing.  I’m not a person who takes time off.  Of course, there are a few people who think being home all day means I lie about eating bonbons and watching daytime television.  Believe me, if I could, that’s what I’d be doing tomorrow.  Well, the lying about and eating bonbons, anyhow.  Instead, I’ll be homeschooling my daughter, catching up on chores, and taking a trip to the local library to supplement the kids’ education.  Not that I don’t find all that wonderfully refreshing and invigorating, but it’s not exactly restful.

The good news is, the week is almost over.  The bad news is, the weekend is coming.  Normally that thought would put a spring in my step.  Instead, I have a sense of impending doom.  For whatever reason, this particular weekend is the busiest we’ve had so far since school started.  The planets aligned just right in order to cause every single person who wanted or needed something from us to want or need it this Saturday.  The upside is that we don’t have to cook dinner, as that will be provided courtesy of the Girl Scout fundraiser.

Which suddenly inspires me with a thought.  This busy weekend is about fifty percent “stuff we do for ourselves” and fifty percent “stuff we do for others.”  I can’t decide if I think this is a good balance.  Part of me says it is; part of me disagrees.  In any case, Finding that balance is one of the things I find most difficult.  I know that I have a hard time weeding things out of my life that constitute business for the sake of staying busy.  At the moment, I have at least three things on my plate that I need to categorize based on whether they are for me, for my family, or for the community, and then I need to decide which to say yes to.

More importantly, I need to decide which to say no to.  I’m sure I’m not alone in this tough process.  It’s so easy to fill every waking moment with places to go, things to do, and people to see.  When everyone clamors that they must be the top priority, it can be hard to sort it out.  Right now, I’ve decided that anything sorted into the “benefits the community” category (which includes most of my church-related activities) can stay and the kids can continue their extracurriculars.  But if it’s just because someone wants me to do something because they personally find it interesting or fun, then it’s out.  Other people’s hobbies are not mine.

I’m planning to find ways to sneak in some extra rest in the next couple of days, to prepare for Weekend of Insanity.  I’m also clearing my head so that I can go into it with a positive attitude.  We will survive the busyness, maybe even come out on top.  Then I’ll look ahead to what we can change so that we don’t create this kind of black hole of non-stop activity in the future.

Here’s to a healthy measure of balance.

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